This is the month when many of my colleagues will be addressing the Graduating Class of 2007. If they have not already written their speech yet, here’s my advice: don’t spell.
Mostly, graduation speeches are pretty forgettable. (Best line of this graduation season belongs to the Governor: “I have forgotten every word that was spoken at all my graduations, and I was the speaker at one of them.”)
But of the (many) cap and gown events I’ve endured, only two rise to the level of off-the-charts bad. Both were absolutely memorable, but not in the way the speaker would have hoped. And both involved the unfortunate rhetorical decision to organize the speech around the spelling of a word.Â
My own graduation (back in the Pleistocene Era) was one. Unfortunately for all of us, the speaker chose to base his speech on the letters in the name of our high school. Sadly, that was Watertown. W-A-T-E-R-T-O-W-N. Yes, NINE key points, including two that began with the letter “W.”
There are not two memorable things in the entire world that begin with “W.”
And of course, he droned on and on. It wasn’t a graduation, it was a hostage release. We finally crawled out of there about dawn.
Sara’s graduation from Princeton was a multi-day affair. (I guess they really wanted those grads to feel they’d gotten their money’s worth.)
One of the many speakers was e Bay’s Meg Whitman. Logical choice: member of the graduating class 25 years earlier who had just given about a gazillion dollars to the college.
And it could have been good. Except she chose to organize her speech around the word Liberty. Which she spelled “L-I-B-E-R-T-R” . . .
Believe me, an audience of Princeton grads is not the forum in which you want to misspell a word like liberty. “I think that second ‘R’ is silent,” the kids said gamely.
So here’s my advice. Have three key points. Four max. But no spelling. Trust me in this.